since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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