You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
