i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
