When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
