god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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