Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
