The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
