I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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