i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What did we do last night that was yellow?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
