He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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