hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
