you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
