he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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