whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
