You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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