The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
