i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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