WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
