She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Randomize