it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
