Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent