you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.