I think im going to throw up on grandma
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ