Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2855) Bad night (680)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.

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  (517): i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall. http://tfl.nu/lpwz
  Replies (14) Good night (4581) Bad night (847)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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  (425): This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference. http://tfl.nu/xg4w
  Replies (51) Good night (9105) Bad night (1077)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (7036) Bad night (1478)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.

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  (940): I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again. http://tfl.nu/j6me
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (2318)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.

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  (513): He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower. http://tfl.nu/6nkf
  Replies (8) Good night (4995) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found

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  (405): I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found http://tfl.nu/l324
  Replies (7) Good night (2944) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.

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  (914): we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/6asp
  Replies (11) Good night (2697) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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  (716): Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug. http://tfl.nu/908k
  Replies (3) Good night (1487) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.

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  (201): Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin. http://tfl.nu/tejt
  Replies (2) Good night (1266) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.

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  (906): When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house. http://tfl.nu/xuce
  Replies (8) Good night (627) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.

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  (979): I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark. http://tfl.nu/98gu
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one

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  (865): I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one http://tfl.nu/oyli
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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  (336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w
  Replies (3) Good night (1025) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.

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  (713): She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone. http://tfl.nu/3fa4
  Replies (0) Good night (46) Bad night (134)

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