Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag

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(480): The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag http://tfl.nu/fc0e

Replies (134) Good night (1421) Bad night (4891)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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(908): You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid. http://tfl.nu/9kqb

Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (2721)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(612): I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/yhkq

Replies (23) Good night (3335) Bad night (1546)
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(319): View more from Iowa

he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.

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(319): he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit. http://tfl.nu/9uu5

Replies (8) Good night (3086) Bad night (786)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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(201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng

Replies (9) Good night (3464) Bad night (655)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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(505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9

Replies (14) Good night (5518) Bad night (695)
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(727): View more from Florida

Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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(727): Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk http://tfl.nu/ccms

Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (1009)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.

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(541): Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night. http://tfl.nu/209g

Replies (3) Good night (1861) Bad night (770)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.

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(618): I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/619k

Replies (2) Good night (1712) Bad night (806)
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(716): View more from New York

The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.

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(716): The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep. http://tfl.nu/clzh

Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (3198)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.

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(902): Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him. http://tfl.nu/rtyn

Replies (12) Good night (666) Bad night (1867)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.

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(514): He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac. http://tfl.nu/t8wx

Replies (11) Good night (393) Bad night (1404)
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(954): View more from Florida

I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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(954): I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it? http://tfl.nu/xt0t

Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (418)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party

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(732): Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party http://tfl.nu/r6wq

Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (264)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.

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(970): Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession. http://tfl.nu/fr3h

Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (120)

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