I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER