I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
