Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.