So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
