Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's blow job season.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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