textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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