are you so shy because you have an std?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
