I wish I could punch you in the face.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
