This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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