i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
