I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize