I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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