Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
