We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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