He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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