I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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