i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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