Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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