I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
