pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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