hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
