Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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