I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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