Those balls look pretty dangerous.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
