so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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