i just made my gag reflex go away.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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