And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He? As in you personified your dick?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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