yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
