Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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