Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize