I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
