Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its not stalking. its research.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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