You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
