Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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