i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
