My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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