Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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