return my video game
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
