I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
