I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
