she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
