I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
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I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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